Dave Says: When You Hit Rock Bottom

Dear Dave,

I’m 20 years old, and I’m in a bad spot. I’ve been a jerk for the last year, not listening to my parents about anything. Now, I’ve got over $10,000 in debt from running up bills on credit cards and writing some bad checks. Two weeks ago, I also lost my job and totaled my car. I’m about to lose my apartment, too, because I don’t have the money for rent. A friend of mine said I could stay with him for a while, but I’m really scared. My parents say I created this situation all by myself, and I need to figure out a solution all by myself. Would you please give me some advice? I don’t even know where to start.

—Justin

Dear Justin,

It sounds like you’re about as close to rock bottom as a person can get. I know it’s a scary situation, especially for a young person. I’ve done stupid stuff, too. And the stupid things I did had lots more zeroes on the end than you’re looking at right now. So, I’ve got some good news for you. There’s hope! The simple fact that you’re looking for help, and have realized the way you’ve been living is stupid, means you want to change. That’s a good thing.

Still, when you do stupid things, you’ve got to pay what I call “stupid tax.” I’m talking about the consequences of your actions. It sounds like you’re going to have get two or three jobs, and find a really cheap car that will get you around for a while. If you do this for maybe 12 to 18 months and live on a very strict monthly budget, you’ll probably be able to pay off all that stupid tax you’ve accumulated.

I think you’ve also recognized the fact that you left your integrity and self-respect on the sidelines for way too long. That means doing the right things really needs to be a priority from now on. The cool thing about the practical issues you mentioned—finding another permanent place to live, something to drive, and paying off the debt—is that all this will get better because you’ve made a conscious decision to be better.

You might want to think about finding and regularly attending a good church, too. Any understanding and caring pastor would be honored to pray with you and walk with you as you get your life back together and headed in the right direction.

God bless you, Justin. You can do this!

—Dave