Dave Says: More Harm Than Good

Dear Dave,

Our son has been married for about three years, and he and his wife are having financial problems. He wants to live on a budget and save money, while she hates the idea of budgeting, and always wants to buy expensive things. They make enough to get by, but they’re not rich. How should we handle it when he asks us for advice?

— Stan

Dear Stan,

If he can’t get her to realize these habits are hurting them and their financial future, and if it’s an issue they’re going to continue to butt heads over, it would be smart for them to sit down with a good marriage counselor or pastor. Something like this needs to come from a neutral and objective third party.

Do you get what I’m saying here? The last thing he needs to do is go back to his wife spouting stuff like, “Well, my parents said …” Remember when you were first married, Stan? You didn’t want your in-laws always hovering around putting in their two-cents worth, either, right?

I know you folks are concerned. It’s only natural because you love them and care about them. But if your daughter-in-law feels like her in-laws and her husband are ganging up on her, it could do way more harm than good!

— Dave