Friendship with Jesus: Why Do I Feel Alone?

Billie Jo YoumansBy Billie Jo Youmans7 Minutes

Have you ever cried out, “Jesus, help me!” and felt ghosted by God? Feeling lost and alone happens to everyone at some point in life.

But Jesus promised to never leave us, so how does loneliness happen for a Christian?

You’ll find the answer to that question in your answer to Jesus’ question:

“Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:15 MSG).

All too often, we give Jesus an identity He never claimed and will not fulfill. Pause for a moment and think about your friendship with Jesus … could it be you are mis-defining Him?

Misusing Jesus

Perhaps you use Jesus as your ticket to significance — the things you do in Jesus’ name give you a sense of purpose and value. Could it be those things are more for you than Him?

Maybe He is the way you control life (or perhaps  others).  Life does go smoother when your choices honor Jesus, but are your choices because of Jesus or your own preferences?

It’s possible that Jesus isn’t a real person you relate to — maybe He’s just tradition. You go to church because you’ve always gone to church.

Or maybe Jesus is a set of rules to obey and tasks to complete — and you’ve begun to see Him as only a taskmaster and an uncaring ruler.

Our only hope

When you use Jesus as “the way” to achieve another goal, you lose connection with Him. He is much more than doing — Jesus is hope. Broken hearts that feel abandoned by God are pleading to know Jesus in the fullness of who He is … Jesus said,  “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6 NIV).

Jesus is not just “the way” to a certain end – He is also truth and life. Loneliness plagues us until we know Jesus as the Word reveals Him to be — as Peter said in response to Jesus’ question:

“You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. (Matthew 16:16).

Peter’s answer revealed a comprehensive understanding that Jesus said came from the Father above (Matthew 16:17), but it was rooted in the promise of Genesis 3:15. He understood that Jesus was the Messiah, the anointed One who would deliver humanity from the curse of sin.

What Peter didn’t understand (and we often fail to grasp) is the deadly pervasiveness of sin. When we begin to understand who Jesus is and what He really did for us, our delight in Him deepens. Hurts heal and loneliness vanishes when we receive Jesus as the promised One — the One in whom love of God and the justice of God unite.

John Piper puts it this way, “We will never stand in awe of being loved by God until we reckon with the seriousness of our sin.”

God’s Love Makes All the Difference

The backdrop of sin reveals the depths of God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice. Knowing Jesus fully and feeling His presence means understanding that He is:

  • The Lamb slain from the foundation of the world … Revelation 13:8
  • The One who, “for the joy set before Him endured the cross”… Hebrews 12:2
  • The Sinless One who took my place so I could live … 2 Corinthians 5:21

This Jesus is the giver of hope and help for every problem. He is always faithful, always good, always pleasing the Father above. When this is who Jesus is to you, you’re never alone.

Go Deeper in Worship

When you define Jesus by what makes you feel comfortable or happy or important, empty darkness closes in. Wrong definitions of Jesus root in self-pride and elevate you to the role of god. Your world crumbles under that kind of pressure.

You are designed to worship the One who knows best, but when you try to take His job — even unintentionally — darkness descends and a sense of lost aloneness surrounds you. Don’t fear, Jesus is has not left you. Just pause and ask God to reveal Jesus as He really is … the answer to your every need.

Here are a few more beautiful truths of Jesus’ identity to consider:

BEGINNING & END                       Revelation 1:8
BREAD OF LIFE                              John 6:48-51
COUNSELOR                                  Isaiah 9:6
POWER OF GOD                           1 Corinthians 1:24
HEIR OF ALL                                  Hebrews 1:2
SALVATION                                    Luke 2:25-30
WORD OF GOD                             Revelation 19:10-13