The Heart of a Healthy Marriage

God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground” (Genesis 1:27-28).

 

At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, for those of us married, God created us to be joined together male and female. Those are His Words, established at the beginning of time. Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and woman. Joining together as one; affixed, attached, interconnected, united, knitted, glued together. These are but a few of the words to describe the covenant between a man and his wife. This sacred bond between a man and his wife is set in place by our Holy Creator.

The man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her woman for she was made from man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh (Genesis 2:24 MSG).

Of course, the enemy of our soul wants to destroy Christian marriages. Satan wants to destroy God’s original design for marriage, and anyone who stands up for Christian marriages. Satan does not create, he imitates, so you must consider the source for what you are seeing and hearing. Ask yourself, is it God’s design or the world’s design? Is marriage really a euphoric experience? I think not. If that were the case most people would separate after the first credit card statement!

Marriage was designed by God to provide a partnership between a man and woman to love God, love one another, and to pursue God together. They should hold each other accountable, and place God above loving each other. Otherwise, hang an “Out of Order” sign on their marriage!

There seems to be a lot of misconceptions concerning marriage. “You just need to find your perfect soulmate.” “Your mate should make you whole and satisfied.” Really? No person can live up to those kinds of expectations. Besides, that’s a lot of pressure to place on an imperfect vessel. Spiritually speaking, that can be idolatry when you look to another person to make you whole and complete. Only God can fill and complete that place in our heart.

God’s Word warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 about hitching ourselves to the wrong wagon, “Do not be joined to unbelievers. What do right and wrong have in common? Can light and darkness be friends?”

And believe me I get it, not every marriage started out on the right path, but through the grace of God, and our obedience to Him, a man and woman can join in a covenant with God, growing, complimenting, and building up one another. Our relationship with God makes all the difference! A spouse should be standing in the shadow of the Holy Scriptures. When my husband easily forgives me, which is all the time, I see God at work, understanding and realizing how merciful and forgiving our God will be. When my spouse takes the time and energy to listen after a hard day at work, I realize God cares about every detail in my life. And vice versa.

Marriage cannot be a one-sided relationship. There is a natural give and take, a healthy balance. It is God’s foundational design that building and keeping a family requires an intimacy between one man and one woman under the direct supervision of the Father. God will bless the relationship when we walk together with Christ at the lead of the family. God’s Holy design for marriage mirrors His covenant relationship with His people. He is a loving and faithful Father.

There are times in our marriage when the cares and concerns of this world interfere with my attitude. And who do you think I take it out on? Besides my God, it’s the one I love the most, my hubby. There’s a temporary pleasure in the venting, but then I look at him neck-deep in my toxic waste and realize it was a bad thing I just did. I should have taken it to my First love before spewing my garbage everywhere. How many times do we do this without even considering God as a solution?

It is no wonder God included this verse in Proverbs 2:19, “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” That surely stings!

I thank God for my husband, and while we are not a perfect couple, we know where we stand in our relationship and who we serve. We made our share of mistakes before joining our families together, both having been divorced. We are an unlikely couple, total opposites, but complimentary to each other. God brought us together for His purposes! Blending our children could have stirred up a real disaster, but God encouraged us with strong, smart children, resilient and rewarding.

With God being the lifeblood running through the heart of our marriage, no matter the struggle, we knew He would bring us through. From that leap year proposal to raising seven children, and the blessing of a quiver full of grandchildren, God has always been centerstage and the Star of our marriage. Whether on the mountain top, spitting out pits, or sailing smoothly, our love for God has grown exponentially through the years.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength (Proverbs 17:22).

One small snippet of advice that has held our marriage in place, laughter. Good old-fashioned belly laughter, the kind that makes your stomach hurt. We have learned not to take ourselves so seriously. And, he has learned to know I am right. See you laughed!

 

Laughter is healthy for the heart of a marriage!