Dave Says: It’s Always a We Thing

Dear Dave,

My husband recently approached me with an idea for our money. He wants us to set up an account where we both put 10 percent of our income for discretionary spending. My husband makes more money than I do, and because of this, he says it is fair that he would be able to spend more than I would. How do you feel about this?

— Liz

Dear Liz,

I’m sure deep down he’s a decent guy and he loves you very much. But he’s looking at this all wrong. Right now, he’s being pretty immature and selfish about the whole situation. It’s a bad plan.

Let’s look at this from another angle. There are lots of families where only one person works outside the home and generates an income. Would it be fair, then, to say only the person making money is allowed a little cash to spend for fun once in a while? Of course, not.

When two people are married, they are pronounced “as one.” That means even if you only have one person with an income, it becomes our income. If you have kids, they become our kids. See where I’m going with this? Marriage is not a me thing, it’s a we thing. Always.

— Dave