Unison Parenting #6: What Did COVID Kids Miss?

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).

While COVID-19 lockdowns were occurring, I was still leading the parenting class at my church with some participants socially distanced within the room and others attending virtually. The parents had a question for me: What kind of developmental issues will happen as a result of our kids experiencing a disruption in their learning?

I told them the story of someone I knew whose father was in the military. When she was in sixth grade, her dad was transferred, and the family moved before she was taught fractions. In the new school, fractions had already been studied. So, she never received formal training in fractions and always struggled with them.

My point was that these parents would see something similar with their children. A gap was occurring that would be difficult to predict. It might be an educational deficiency, but it could also be a social, emotional, physical, or spiritual gap.

I was reminded of this conversation when I learned of a new book expressing the opposite view of conventional wisdom that kids are growing up faster these days. Jean Twenge has written iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy – and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood – and What That Means for the Rest of Us.

Twenge says that twelfth graders act more like eighth graders from previous generations, waiting longer to experience activities associated with independence and preparation for adulthood. For example, they are less likely to socialize in person, learn to drive, attend prom, or drink alcohol, preferring to lie on their beds and scroll through social media for hours.

While this behavior may seem caused by prevalent social media, I wonder if it’s actually a result of isolation during the COVID window. At a time when teens would have become more social and ventured into new experiences, they spent their time mostly at home with family.

If you have a child who was entering their teen years during lockdown, you might evaluate how they’ve been impacted. Consider how to help them catch up on adolescent experiences before they become an adult.