I Wish It Wasn’t So Hard

“I wish it wasn’t so hard.”

These are words I recently heard myself say to my dad, while I was sharing the latest struggles my son was experiencing.

Over the course of his life, he’s required six surgeries for persistent ear issues, his most recent was two weeks ago. He has a severe learning disability, only amplified by the impact to his hearing, caused by the ear issues. On top of all that, he recently dealt with a tough situation at school in which he was the target of a very unkind adult. I think it is fair to call the situation bullying.

My son is such an incredible person — kind, creative, funny, enthusiastic, and compassionate. To see such a beautiful soul experiencing consistent hardship just breaks my heart. I have found myself feeling weary and heavy lately, as I think about all that he has experienced.

As I spoke about the way my son’s hardship grieves my heart, and spoke the words “I wish it wasn’t so hard,” my dad cautioned me to reconsider. His response was matter of fact, “I wouldn’t necessarily wish that for him.”

I was not expecting that response and it stunned me a bit as I stopped talking to listen carefully.

Hope-Producing Hardship

My dad reminded me that the hard aspects of our lives bring about the most growth, meaning, and sometimes even zest. They add color and richness that we can’t experience absent of the challenges. Dad commented on how fortunate my son is to be experiencing the refining and resiliency-instilling power of hardship at a young age, with parents who are walking alongside him to pour out love and support. Dad elaborated that hardships will produce qualities within our son that make him even more incredible than he already is.

Initially, I wasn’t sure how I felt about this feedback. I wondered if he really understood me when I shared about the pain we’ve all felt lately. I was curious if he was minimizing what felt so significant. However, as I sat and digested all that he shared, I realized that my dad wasn’t wrong. In fact, what he shared is biblical. I invite you to consider the truth we find in Romans 5:3-5:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Hardship is a given in this broken world in which we live. But, so too is God’s ability to redeem even the darkest of situations and use them for good and for His glory.

As my husband and I continue the journey of parenting our two children, this has to be the truth we hold onto. I hope that it is an encouragement to you also, whether it applies to your own parenting situation or other unique and personal hardships you are enduring.

Hope in Jesus: Our Perfector

Let’s look for ways that the tough stuff can produce beauty in our character and serve as a tangible testimony of who God is. Let’s find ways to celebrate how navigating challenges allows us to experience the world differently than if the road was always straight and smooth.

If we can work to lean into Romans 5:3-5 on the days of discouragement, it will help us keep our eyes on King Jesus who is the author and perfector. Our hardships may not instantly disappear but they will most certainly be reframed and redeemed in light of His majesty and glory.