How To Help My Teenager

How to Help My Teenager

Caitlyn ScaggsBy Caitlyn Scaggs7 Minutes

Teenage years can be a lot for the growing child but also for the parents who are seeking to raise, love and guide them. From added life responsibilities, physical changes, and social pressures, there are so many factors swirling that can make it challenging for parents and kids alike. Learning how to best help your teenager is a process that should be washed in faith, covered in prayer, and guided by God’s truth.

Be Present & Guide Them

One of the most important ways to help your teenager is to simply be present and available. When you are together, make sure to put your phone down, unplug, and focus. Sure, they may not act interested in this time but don’t lose heart and stay committed to it. Often what they are feeling and what they express are two different things.

Scripture tells us in Deuteronomy 6:7, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” The “them” that is being referenced in this verse is God’s truth and commands. Notice how it links the teaching to everyday life. As we come and go, as we journey through the day, we are to be teaching them. It does not relegate instruction to a classroom, Sunday school room, or formal devotion. In this verse we are reminded that our consistent presence gives us the opportunity to instruct and guide our children.

Do not let your teenager’s attitude dissuade you from following this command to be consistently present and to guide them. There is no footnote to this scripture that gives you an “opt out” for when your child is ages 12-18. In fact, those difficult years are when you need to cling to this truth more than ever. Stay the course, stay engaged, stay present and in the process you will help your teenager navigate the many ups and downs of life.

Wash It In Prayer

Have you heard the saying big kid, big problems? There is truth to those words. As our children age the complexities of the challenges and consequences of decisions – both good and bad – heighten. We could worry ourselves into frenzies over all that could go wrong. But, in doing so we would be forgetting the numerous times God reminds us not to worry. Matthew 6:34 is a great example of where we are directly told not to worry about the problems of tomorrow, as there is plenty to focus on today. Allow yourself to be convicted of this truth as you help your teenager.

When you trend toward worry, turn it into a prayer. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,” Philippians 4:6-7. Come before the Lord and trust that He is listening to you and is ready to provide you with his gift of peace.

Encourage Healthy Connections

1 Corinthians 15:33 gets right to the point, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” One of the best ways to help your teenager is to guide them toward a positive, faith-filled community. Support the connections that bring out the best in your child and also point them to God’s best for their life. It could be formal connections like joining a youth group or it could be more informal by prioritizing time with other families that follow the Lord and his teachings. Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” The word “consider” reminds us that we should be intentional and thoughtful about how we spend time in community. Apply this consideration to how you guide your teenager to make choices about friends and the company they keep.

Get Support

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the problems and challenges your teenager is facing it is more than appropriate to seek resources to guide you and your child. From Christian counselors, pastoral support, or the help of a physician, there are options out there. Do not look at the need for additional help as a failure or weakness but rather as a way God continues to provide for your every need and the every need of your child. Proverbs 19:20 states, “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” Exercise wisdom as you discern what resources are best and make sure that they are in alignment with God’s commands and teachings.

Remember that God is walking with you as you seek to help your teenager. Do not lose heart as you navigate the turbulence of teenage years. Rather, consider the holy work of parenting and the many promises God has made to you about how He will guide you, give you peace, and direct your steps. Stay strong in the Lord and trust He will be with you – and your teenager – always.