Asking God to Help You Make a Hard Decision

God has created us with amazing freedom to decide what kind of person we want to become and what we want to do. We give expression to this God-given dignity as image bearers when we face the complex decisions that come our way, consider our options, weigh our choices, and then consciously decide the way we want to go. Every decision we make matters.

Our decisions also express our desire to be faithful to God’s personal will. Because God has both a general and personal will for our lives, we must endeavor to discern what God wants for us. Our efforts at discerning God’s calling must now result in decision-making, however. Discernment needs to be lived out in our daily choices. Through the everyday decisions we make, we seek to bring our lives into harmony with what God wants for our life and for our world.

Many times, these decisions, both big and small, are not obviously between good and evil. I trust that as Christ followers, we have already decided to do whatever good seems to be God’s personal will. Making faithful decisions is more straightforward when we must choose between what is clearly in harmony with God’s general will as revealed in Scripture and what is not. However, there are times when we need to make decisions where all the options in front of us are good. When we love God and genuinely want to discern God’s personal will, making faithful decisions in these kinds of situations can be difficult. How often have you wondered, What should I do here? when wrestling between two or more good and positive options?

When there is no clear biblical imperative to guide us, a good starting point is to tell God that we want to be faithful and open to whatever God wants. This is important. We are saying that we want to live faithfully no matter what God may want us to do. We need to be honest about this, however. It could be that we already lean toward one option more than others. Or we may have mixed feelings about doing what God may want us to do. Then we might pray something like Lord, I know that right now I am not able to be totally open to what you might want. Please help me want to do your will with more of myself.

The next step is to lay the situation facing us before God and specifically ask for the divine gift of guidance. We can do this with a quiet confidence that God will communicate with us should there be something that God wants to say to us. Lord, we can pray, I want to make a faithful decision in this situation. Help me be open to whatever you may want to say. Speak to me through the people who cross my path, or through my thoughts and feelings, or through the circumstances of my life, or in my moments of silence, and especially through the Scriptures as I pray with them.

When we have prayed like this, there occasionally may come soon afterward what we call “a clear word from the Lord.” We will know immediately, with a deep assurance, what our decision must be. Possible questions or concerns that we may have had will fade away. You may have had this kind of experience.

A distinctive thought presents itself with a quiet authority, a certain clarity, a Christlike tone. You just know what you must do, and you are able to make your decision. Nevertheless, if the decision is a big one, it may still be wise to talk it over in a sacred conversation with a loved one, a trusted friend, or a counselor. Sometimes it is helpful to ask God for this word to be confirmed in one way or another.

When no clear word like this comes, however, we should simply proceed with our lives as usual, paying attention to what happens in both the inner and outer landscapes of our life. When we consider the different options facing us, we can weigh which one seems to lead us toward greater faith, hope, and love. Which one makes us feel genuinely alive? Which one gives us a profound sense of peace? What course of action seems to resonate more with the way of Christ? Also, which of the options leaves us with a sense of heaviness and disquiet? The Holy Spirit always leads and guides us through spiritual consolation. If our basic aim in life is to do God’s will, it follows that whatever decision is in tune with God’s purpose will bring us alive and fill us with a settled peace.

We can also reflect on what is going on in the external circumstances of our life. I recently shared in a Quaker meeting for worship. As you may know, Quakers meet in silence. Worshipers only speak if they are prompted by the Spirit. Near the end of this meeting, a woman shared her dilemma about decisions she needed to make regarding her studies in a volatile university environment. She ended by sharing with us how helpful she was finding a Quaker saying: Proceed as the way opens for you. I found those words helpful too. As we reflect on the outer landscape of our lives, the Spirit sometimes guides us through surprising openings in our circumstances and doors that suddenly open for us.

Whichever way God may guide us in our decision-making, let us not make an idol of needing to be right. There is always the possibility that we may read God’s signals wrong. This does not mean that we should be anxious when making decisions. We can trust that God knows the desire of our heart to be faithful. As we remain open to God’s future leadings, we can be sure that God will ultimately weave all our decisions into the tapestry of purpose that God has for our lives.

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Some content taken from In Search of God’s Will: Discerning a Life of Faithfulness and Purpose by Trevor Hudson. Copyright © 2024. Used by permission of NavPress, represented by Tyndale House Publishers, a division of Tyndale House Ministries. All rights reserved.