Be Still and Know: Beauty for Ashes—Hope After Loss

Part 2 of 2—The testimony of Gentry and Hadley Eddings

In May 2015, Gentry and Hadley Eddings lost both of their sons—two-year-old Dobbs and newborn Reed—in the days surrounding a car accident caused by a distracted, impaired driver. In Part 1 of their testimony, they shared how God met them in the immediate storm of grief: as their refuge, the light for their path, and the One working even painful things toward good. In Part 2, they look at the slower work God does over time—the way He shapes us through trials, frees us through forgiveness, sends us to comfort others, and writes redemption into stories that once seemed lost.

Trials Have a Purpose

Grief can feel like carrying the weight of the world. We want to escape the pressure. But Scripture promises that pressure, in God’s hands, is not pointless. “Count it all joy, my brothers,” James writes, “when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2-3). The call isn’t to pretend the pain isn’t real. It’s the confidence that testing grows our endurance, and that endurance slowly shapes us into people who are mature and complete.

Hadley compares it to the way diamonds form—ordinary carbon transformed under immense heat and pressure deep in the earth. Something similar happens in us. Gentry remembers an earlier trial that taught him this. In 2013, Hadley suffered a perforated ulcer and had to be rushed into life-saving surgery. The episode shook his faith. Where was God in their moment of need? Why hadn’t He stopped it?

Through prayer, reflection, and honest conversations with mentors, Gentry found his faith slowly strengthening rather than collapsing. He came to understand that he might not always know what God is doing, but he could trust that God is always at work for good. The call to count our trials as joy isn’t a call to pretend they don’t hurt. It’s a confidence that our struggles are not wasted—that God is forming us, slowly and surely, even in the pressure.

Keep an Eternal Perspective

Some pain we endure willingly because we know something better is coming—a difficult surgery, a hard season of discipline. Grief asks something similar of us, but on a far greater scale. Paul makes a striking claim: “This light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17). So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, which is passing away, but on what is unseen, which lasts forever.

That can be a hard truth to receive. When you’re grieving, your pain does not feel small or temporary—it feels overwhelming and all-encompassing. Hadley offers an honest comparison from her own life: pregnancy was one of the hardest things she’s ever done, full of sickness, discomfort, and painful labor. Yet the moment she held her newborn, the suffering seemed small beside the joy. In the same way, the joy of heaven will one day outweigh every earthly pain.

To keep that perspective, we have to lean on God’s promises—that we will one day see Him face to face, that He will wipe away every tear, that He is preparing a place for us. We fix our eyes not on the troubles we can see, but on the things that will last forever.

There Is Peace in Forgiveness

One of the hardest steps in grief is forgiving someone who has hurt you. Scripture calls us to let go of bitterness, rage, and harsh words, and to be kind and tenderhearted instead—forgiving one another the way God has forgiven us.

When we’re hurt, the natural instinct is to hold on to anger. But as Hadley puts it, bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only harms the one carrying it.

For Gentry and Hadley, forgiveness was not abstract. Their children died because a man chose to drive distracted and under the influence. And yet they prayerfully chose to forgive him—not because the offense was small, but because they themselves have been forgiven a far greater debt by God. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

If bitterness is keeping you from peace, the place to find the strength to forgive is the cross. There, in the pierced hands and feet of Jesus, we remember how much we’ve been forgiven—and we find what we need to release the weight we’ve been carrying. Choosing forgiveness sets us free to heal.

Comfort Others as You’ve Been Comforted

In their darkest days, Gentry and Hadley were not left alone. Hadley remembers girlfriends who surrounded her—sending flowers, sitting with her over lunch, simply being present. Gentry remembers a friend named Jon who was there for the long haul, texting to check in, taking him out to talk, listening without judging or correcting. It was small, consistent kindness that made the difference.

Scripture points to why that matters. It calls God the Father of mercy and the source of all comfort—the One who comforts us in our troubles so that we, in turn, can comfort others with the same comfort we have received.

God comforts us, and then He sends us to do the same for others. In time, Gentry and Hadley found themselves sitting across the table from other parents who had lost children—not with all the answers, but with presence, listening, and compassion. That calling is also a reminder that their lives still have purpose. If you are still here, God still has a role for you to play. Think of who in your life might need encouragement today, and reach out to them as others once reached out to you.

Living in Victory

Everyone loves a comeback story. We root for the underdog, the team that overcomes an impossible deficit. And in the middle of grief, part of us longs for a comeback of our own—some sign of redemption, some turning of the tide. From inside the loss, it can feel impossible. But God is famous for comeback stories.

The prophet Isaiah describes the kind of reversal only God can bring—a promise to all who mourn that He will give them beauty for ashes, joy in place of mourning, and praise in place of despair, and that He will make them like strong oaks planted for His own glory.

For Gentry and Hadley, part of that redemption came two years after the accident, when Hadley learned she was pregnant again—and discovered at an ultrasound that they were expecting twin boys. There were tears of joy and shouts of celebration as God exchanged their sorrow for laughter and traded their ashes for a crown of beauty.

And yet they are honest that the story isn’t finished. They still carry the loss of Dobbs and Reed, and some of their comeback story won’t be complete on this side of heaven. So they wait with hope and great anticipation for the day they’ll be reunited with their sons—a hope made sure by the resurrection of Jesus.

That is the promise at the heart of their testimony. In this life we will all face grief and sorrow. But God is our Redeemer, and He is writing comeback stories even now. We may not see restoration immediately, and we may not see all of it here. But God will have the final word. He gives beauty for ashes. Be still and know that He is God.

May that truth strengthen your walk today.

To learn more about Gentry and Hadley Eddings’ story and how they chose to trust God in the storm, watch their Strengthen Your Walk™ series “Be Still Still and Know: Navigating Grief with Faith.”

Click here to read Part 1 of Gentry and Hadley Eddings’ testimony.