I’ve Been Disappointed by People Who I Thought Were My Friends

Melissa HendersonBy Melissa Henderson4 Minutes

Have you watched children interact on the playground or in a group setting? Similar to adults, some of the young ones gather together to play a game or enjoy events, while others may stand off to the side and watch. Children and adults can be disappointed when they are not included. Perhaps you have expressed, “I’ve been disappointed by people who I thought were my friends. Can I ever trust again?”

Friendships can form at different ages and times in life. Toddlers play together, school-age children gather in groups to take turns swinging, sliding, throwing the ball, and other fun activities. Adults sometimes join groups at church or in the community to share common interests with peers. Book clubs, business networks, and parenting co-ops offer ways to communicate and build friendships.

What happens when someone you trusted to be a close friend fractures the friendship through words or actions? How can we recover from the hurt? Sharing personal feelings and experiences can deepen friendships. However, there may be times when the relationship may be broken due to unexpected reactions or other ways that bring heartache and tears.

Conversations, text messages, and snail mail letters are some ways of communication between friends. Deep secrets, hopes, and dreams for the future may have been shared between friends. The words, “Don’t tell anyone.” may have been spoken. Yet, somehow the trust is broken and information that we wanted kept private is now out in the open for anyone to learn. Trust is shattered. How can we trust again? Disappointment weighs like a heavy cloud on our emotions.

God wants us to be in a relationship with Him first. God should always be the priority. Sharing time with Him in prayer and reading His Word daily can strengthen our faith and help us to show His love to others.

God knows we will have heartache. Those times of hurt can arise from something we have done or something is done to us. When someone breaks our trust, how do we forgive and move on?

The answer is to seek God. Go to God in prayer. Share your heartfelt concerns. Thank God for the gift of friendships. Ask for His help in knowing how to handle any issues in the friendship. Remember we are called to worship God, not people.

Rebuilding trust can take time. Ask God for guidance in the friendship. Sometimes, relationships come for a time, and then, are gone. In each situation, we can learn and grow.

When disappointment comes due to something a person who you thought was a friend has done, there can be peace and comfort found in giving the situation to God.

There are times when people want to “fix” other people and correct their wrongdoings. We are not called to be the fixers. We are called to show the love of Christ and be the people who pray.

What if we want to continue the friendship after we’ve been hurt by someone we thought was a friend? Once again, pray. Ask God if He wants you to continue to be in that friendship. Remember that God has a plan for each one of His creations.

The trust may be rebuilt over time. Or God may want you to move on from that friendship. Either way, we can pray for each other and know God is with us.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)

In His Name,

Melissa Henderson