So Worth Loving: Purpose

Book Excerpt from So Worth Loving: How Discovering Your True Value Changes Everything by Eryn Eddy

 

What is the purpose of all this? Will you find meaning in this pain?

Yes, of course, but here is the thing: you already had meaning before the pain. It is crazy to think about, but God had you in mind before you were born. Pain has purpose, but we had purpose before the pain.

I recall having lots of conversations with God when I was young. I grew up in a Christian household, but faith was never forced on me; it was something for me to freely walk into and explore.

Because of this openness and my atypical upbringing, I developed rose-colored glasses when it came to all the possibilities in life. I never felt I needed to live in a box or fit into a mold of what was considered normal.

When I was eleven, my parents broke the news that I would have to repeat fifth grade because of my poor grades. They anticipated that I would be discouraged, but I thought it was awesome because for the first time I thought I might be considered average sized and wouldn’t get picked on and bullied for being small. Plus, I might finally be popular because I already knew all the test answers. Classic rose-colored glasses.

Neither wish came true. I was still the smallest by a foot, and I was still bullied. I still needed a tutor, and to top it off, I was diagnosed with ADD that year. But I kept trekking. Bravery is being terrified while remaining resilient. That was me.

Many years later, after working at my parents’ thirty-five-year-old furniture company for a couple years, I began working for a global ministry called Orange. I suddenly found myself entering data into spreadsheets (no one should have trusted me with spreadsheets). I worked my way into other areas of the ministry, including helping with their leadership conferences. And after four years, I’d become one of Orange’s art directors.

At dinner with the team one evening, the founder asked me what I thought was a trick question. He looked at me and said, “Eryn, the sky’s the limit—what do you want to do? What are your aspirations?”

In the moment, I couldn’t answer. I think sometimes we get so scared to admit our dreams or what we think our purpose is out of fear that someone will tell us we are unqualified. I remember later I was doing laundry and thinking, Be honest, Eryn. What do you really want to do?

Music . . . if I am honest. I want to pursue music.

I had prayed this prayer since I was in seventh grade: “Lord, let my voice be used for good. Let me have a light so bright that people ask where it came from.” So, maybe that meant literally using my voice for good.

I called a music producer and told him I wanted to produce four songs. I didn’t know which songs yet, but he believed in me enough to bring me into his studio with a writer. I spent nine hours in the studio with him and left with one song. Over the next couple years, all while working full-time at Orange, I released two albums and a few singles, licensed my songs to TV shows and commercials, and saw my music videos go viral. I thought maybe I had found my purpose.

As all this happened, a new desire slowly came over me: I wanted to create a product for the people who supported my music. But I couldn’t afford to print T-shirts, so instead, I went to a craft store and picked up some cardboard stencils and fabric spray paint. I grabbed an old tee from my closet, and I decided to test out spray painting a few words on my own shirts. I started pretty simple with some basic phrases:

You Are Beautiful

Shine Bright

And then came a new phrase. I don’t think it came from me—it felt more divinely inspired:

So Worth Loving

As soon as I saw it, I thought to myself, That is so powerful, it has to already exist; someone has to own the trademark. But no one did.

…

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