Learning to love yourself is an important part of loving others.
Changing your life begins with living in the love God has for you!
When you like yourself, it is so much easier to enjoy your life. And here is a side benefit: When you learn to accept and get along with yourself, you tend to have better relationships; you can better accept and get along with others.
The Bible tells us on multiple occasions to love your neighbor as yourself. For many people who have a difficult time getting along with others, the actual root of the problem is a difficulty to believe in their own self-worth. Matthew 7:17 (AMP) says, “Even so, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the unhealthy tree bears bad fruit.” That means that the “fruit” of our lives comes from the “root” within us.
If you have roots of inferiority, shame, rejection, or self-loathing in your soul, the fruit of your relationships will suffer. But once you get a revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and begin to accept the person He created you to be, this new root will produce great fruit, and your relationships will bloom beautifully.
I would like to recommend that you search your heart and honestly ask yourself if you truly believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves you at all times, whether you are behaving perfectly or not. Until you can answer a definite yes to that question, then you need to continue studying and meditating on Scriptures about the love that God has for you, and eventually, it will become a revelation that no one and nothing can ever take away from you.
Paul encourages us to never let anything – not trouble, persecution, things threatening or impending or anything else in all the world – to separate us from God’s love (see Romans 8:35, 38-39). Here are three practical ways to establish healthy spiritual roots that will transform your outlook on life:
1 Speak good things about yourself that God speaks … never bad.
Matthew 12:37 says, For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned (NIV). Proverbs 23:7 says as a man “thinks in his heart, so is he.” These verses give us a very powerful truth we need to understand: The way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves.
So let me suggest that you start changing your attitude about yourself by changing the way you talk about yourself. Never say things like I look terrible. I’m stupid. Who could ever love me? I never do anything right. These negative words only reinforce a root of insecurity. Instead, begin saying things that are in line with what the Word of God says about you. Things like …
• I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me – Romans 8:37.
• I am God’s workmanship – Ephesians 2:10.
• I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus – 2 Corinthians 5:21.
• I am greatly loved by God – 1 John 4:10.
You can make these declarations while you’re making dinner, while you’re sitting in traffic, or when you first get up in the morning. You’ll be amazed at how speaking aloud God’s truth about who you really are will change your perspective and greatly benefit your relationships.
2 Focus on your potential, not your limitations.
Great athletes never focus on the last shot they missed, the previous catch they dropped, or last inning’s strikeout; instead, they anxiously await their next opportunity to make an incredible play. I’m not much of a sports fan, but I can appreciate this mindset. One of the things that makes them champions is their decision to focus on their ability to do better next time, rather than on their mistakes and failures. The athlete, or any successful person, is focusing on their potential rather than their limitations. We would be wise to do the same thing!
Instead of obsessing about what you can’t do, start praising God for the things you can do. Maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. God gave you those talents, that personality, and those interests for a reason. Ask Him to help you see how you can make the most of the beautiful, unique talents and abilities He has given you.
3 Stand out from the crowd – don’t be like everyone else.
God obviously loves variety because He created us all differently, even down to our unique fingerprints. You’ll never love your life if you’re spending that life trying to be like other people. There will always be people in your life who are great examples to follow, but don’t lose your own identity by trying to be just like them. Allow your own unique personality traits to distinguish you from the rest of the crowd.
God created you to be different – embrace the beauty of that truth. If everything is the same, then nothing stands out and shines. It is God’s infinite variety combined together that creates amazing beauty. The endless variety of trees, plants, flowers, grasses, and even weeds are all special and unique. Working together with all the others, they create a beautiful world we can be amazed by. If everything was exactly alike, nothing would stand out, and I might not notice anything.
These three practical instructions applied to your life will help strengthen your self-image and your personal relationships. Remember, there is only one you, so go out and enjoy the beautiful, talented, unique you God created you to be!
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