Excerpt from FreeFall: Holding Onto Faith When the Unthinkable Strikes by Rhonda Robinson
When the Unthinkable Transform Reality
The cold metal of the operating table was hard and unyielding. The physician walked in unannounced. Without warning or anesthesia, he began his work. The searing pain of the first cut caused my chest to heave a deep gasp. The inhuman sound of a low, guttural moan hung in the air. As the knife plunged still deeper into my chest, I began to realize the voice was my own. The agony surpassed what my mind could grasp. My head began rocking uncontrollably back and forth as disbelief overwhelmed me. Only one word escaped: “No.” An inner voice tried to push despair away by whispering, “This can’t be happening to me.”
Then, once again, the knife of reality plunged deeper. The surgeon reached in, cupped my beating heart in his hands and placed it on my chest. As the fog of pain rolled in, my mind became clouded. My thoughts raced in slow motion. Truth became a chilling mist of numbness that fell over my soul. Nothing was real anymore—only the agony of the raw, gaping wound in my chest and the weight of my heart beside it.
“He died at the scene,” were the words that pierced me like a surgeon’s knife. As my mind tried to grasp the reality of the unthinkable, the pain reached past the marrow and into the inner essence of my being.
Searing, but my pain and tragedy are not unique. There are many words which, in an instant, can sever you from your life as you knew it and plunge you into a world you never thought you would enter—words like, “It’s malignant,” and “I don’t love you anymore—I want a divorce,” and “We can’t find a heartbeat.” Few of us escape this life without the shattering effects of the world we live in.
While the wounds these words create are invisible to the people around you, the pain is life threatening. What you may not yet know is whether or not you will survive the despair or how to face tomorrow, let alone the future.
There is no way for me to know the depth of your loss or the mountain you’re facing. What I do know is the pain of losing. I know all too well what it’s like to completely shut down under the weight of grief’s sorrow. I know what it is like to pick up the razor-edged shards of a broken life. What we hold in common is that we both have had to face the unthinkable. The fact that you reached out and opened this book is evidence that your soul wants to join life again, but your mind can’t grasp how that is possible.
It’s my prayer that as you turn these pages you will feel the hand of God and hear His whisper—even in midst of the loudest storm of your life. As you walk with me through these pages, I will give to you what was given to me. Pieces of truth that shine a light in the darkest hours and recipes to heal the unseen, gaping hole in your chest. Time doesn’t heal all wounds—but we have a Heavenly Father who does. He is the Great Physician that closes our wounds and wipes away our tears.
You will survive.
Your heart will be put back in place by the hand of God—not just restored but infused with his peace and strength.
Order a copy of Rhonda Robinson’s FreeFall: Holding onto Faith When the Unthinkable Strikes today!
Rhonda Robinson is a speaker and the author of Freefall: Holding Onto Faith When the Unthinkable Strikes, offering women spiritual wisdom to transform the darkness into a season of profound change and emerge with vision and purpose. Learn more at RhondaRobinson.tv
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