Book Excerpt from Before We Said Hello: Finding Hope after Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss by Becky Nordquist
[Speak] to one another with psalms, hymns,
and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make
music in your heart to the Lord, always giving
thanks to God the Father for everything,
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
We may not always be able to give thanks to God in our difficulties. I know in the middle of my losses, praising, singing, and making (or, in my case, writing) music was next to impossible. I could barely read more than several sentences, let alone sing three words. So I chose to make music in my heart—music in the groaning. Singing through sorrow.
It was in those moments that I found the most important thing in the world to me. It was then, when all else I longed for was stripped away, that I saw Jesus. The question was not how much of Him I had, but how much of me did He have?
I couldn’t thank Him for allowing my babies to be taken from me. I couldn’t thank Him or be glad about the circumstances of my suffering, but I found I could praise Him and thank Him for what He was building in me. I could worship Him for the beautiful aspects of His character that He was revealing to me through this path. I could give thanks to Him for being present to share in my sorrow with His peace and understanding.
How much of you does He have? How is He revealing more of Himself to you on these days?
The Lord will vindicate me;
your love, Lord, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.
You are God’s deeply loved creation. He loves you beyond comprehension and is orchestrating a beautiful symphony, a melody that can only be sung to the world through your life. From the moment He began to fashion you, He had a purpose and plan spinning in place, a way for you to touch the world in ways no other soul can.
I often consider how the lives of my babies have changed me. Even though their tiny feet never walked this earth, they have impacted my life and made a difference in the lives of others. What more could my mother heart long for?
Dear friend, our stories are not done being written. We do not know what joy or pain tomorrow may bring. We do know that God is writing and creating something beyond what we can imagine or hope for. We can depend on Him to finish what He has begun. As we lay our lives before Him, relinquishing control, we know that He will not leave us. As we abide in Him, He will hold us close. As we walk forward, He will walk with us. He will remain faithful to the purpose He intended for us and see us through.
This song in a minor key is part of a greater work that He will use to bring hope and encouragement to the world.
Even though it’s hard now, we give thanks for the story He is writing. Even though we do not see the ending, we trust and give thanks. We give thanks that He set a plan and purpose in motion before we drew a breath and that He will see it to completion, no matter what comes.
To order Before We Said Hello or Becky’s two original songs please visit MusicfortheSoul.org
Becky Nordquist is an author, singer-songwriter, recording artist, speaker, and worship leader. As someone who has experienced five miscarriages and the stillbirth of her son, Niklas, she is uniquely able to speak into the lives of those who are grieving the loss of a pregnancy. With compassion and honesty, Nordquist brings the hope of Jesus to the process of healing for women and men suffering this “invisible grief.” Learn more at BeckyNordquist.com
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